Category: Beliefs, Truths, Opinions, & Thoughts
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Why Do I Feel Things I Know Are Irrational?
Why do I feel things I know are irrational? Thoughts, emotions, physiology, memory, and behavior can create and interrupt emotional feedback loops.
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How to Make Problems Navigable | Dialectic and Deconstruction Solutions
We can solve today’s problems. The method: find the viable entry point, stay humble about every solution’s next problem, and divide the work accountably.
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When Politics Isn’t Really About Politics: Curiosity, Culture, and the Operating Systems We Share
Most political arguments inside families aren’t really about politics. They’re a way of asking whether our value systems still overlap. A look at culture as an operating system, and at the difference between defending an identity and protecting a value.
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The Economy Is a Game We All Live Inside
Basketball, Monopoly, and the Psychological Skill of Arguing the Other Side When we talk collectively about the economy, we rarely sound like a society working on a shared design problem. We sound like rival teams arguing over whose pain counts most. And the result is predictable. The conversation goes binary, turns emotional, and then stalls.…
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Most Disagreements Aren’t About the Facts
Two people can agree on every fact and still disagree about what to do. Not because one of them is wrong, but because they rank their values differently. This is about that — and about staying curious once you see it.
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Meditation Is the Practice of Returning
“I didn’t do it well” is the most common thing I hear about meditation. But every time your mind wanders and you return, you’ve already succeeded.
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Understanding Anxiety Is Only the Beginning | The Gap Between Insight and Action
Understanding anxiety is only the beginning. Learn how insight, physiology, habits, and values work together to reduce anxiety by turning awareness into meaningful action.
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Guilt for Being Who We Are
Why do we feel guilty for simply being ourselves? Explore how empathy, early social experiences, and internalized “shoulds” can lead us to carry responsibility for other people’s discomfort.
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The Anxiety of Efficiency
A reflection on the paradox of rushing in order to relax, and how efficiency can sometimes reproduce the very anxiety we are trying to escape.
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Contextual Intelligence and Political Identity
We treat liberal and conservative as fixed identities. They are better understood as contextual strategies — orientations toward flexibility or toward structure that become coherent or incoherent depending on the system they are asked to organize.
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Treading Water / the Addiction to Doing
Some people believe that if they stop kicking, they will drown. They are exhausted, and they also trust the effort more than the water. What happens in a partnership when one person knows how to float and the other cannot yet trust that the water holds — and why naming it can feel, to the…
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The Realities of Rigid Identity
Rigid identity develops when beliefs become protective structures rather than flexible perspectives. Whether through victimhood, perfectionism, spiritual bypassing, or rigid religious and political identification, we begin organizing around certainty to avoid vulnerability, grief, shame, and uncertainty. This piece explores how identity can quietly replace participation—limiting connection, distorting perception, and reducing our ability to engage with…
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Anxiety, Codependence, and What It Actually Means to Try in a Relationship
Anxiety and codependence often shape how we try in relationships. This piece explores the difference between effort that builds connection and effort that quietly erodes it.
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The Question of Enough | Stimulation, Fulfillment, and the Physiology of Contentment
One pattern I see repeatedly — in my office and in my own life — is the question of enough. Not the familiar concern of whether we are good enough, but a more structurally complex inquiry: How much stimulation does a life require to feel both alive and sustainable? For many of us, enough becomes…
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Love, Acceptance, and Growth | What Real Love Actually Asks of Us
Love involves more than blind acceptance; it requires balance between acceptance and growth. Authentic love respects individual uniqueness while also encouraging partners to develop and meet relationship needs. As partners grow, compatibility and understanding enhance, allowing both individuals to fulfill each other’s needs and broaden their experiences together.
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Fear of Abandonment vs. Integrity | Choosing Which Fear We Live With
The text explores the conflict between fear of abandonment, fear of death, and fear of self-betrayal during social situations, particularly in risky activities like backcountry skiing. It emphasizes the importance of aligning with one’s values over seeking acceptance, promoting self-trust and internal integrity even in the face of uncertainty regarding group dynamics.
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When Compassion Silences Self-Worth
The content emphasizes the importance of balancing compassion for others with self-advocacy. Uncontrolled compassion can lead to self-abandonment and resentment, undermining true empathy. Healthy empathy incorporates self-care, allowing individuals to express their worth without guilt. Ultimately, mutual respect and fairness foster deeper, more reciprocal relationships.
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The Observer and the Observed
Detaching from identity through acceptance of our contradictions Hello. Let’s use the observer to notice our attachments to identity. When I was in college, I really wanted to have a fire in the backyard, but I didn’t want to burn the grass. So I built a fire on top of a flagstone — and it…
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Adversity and Advocacy: When Suffering Stops Building Strength
The piece discusses the balance between teaching patience and empowerment in the face of adversity. While challenges can foster growth, excessive or nonsensical adversity can be harmful, leading to confusion and loss of confidence. It’s crucial for parents to discern when to advocate for empowerment instead of promoting endurance.
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Codependence and the Quiet Agreement Not to Grow
The content explores how comfort can create a codependent environment that stifles personal growth. It highlights that prioritizing stability often leads to enabling behaviors, preventing accountability, and reinforcing stagnation. True love involves embracing discomfort for growth and supporting each other in evolving, rather than retreating into familiar patterns that limit potential.