Thoughts From a Therapist
Relationship Tips
The ‘relationship’ category contains posts concerning how we interact with others.
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Why might we be misinformed about human sexuality?
Quick summary: Why might we be misinformed about human sexuality? I will isolate some themes to help people to understand why our at times…
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What is Love? How do I know if I am in love or have experienced love? Love is selflessness and felt security… love is also a physical and emotional feeling
Quick summary: The reason that love is so difficult to define has much to do with the fact that the word “love” means far…
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Human Sexuality and Stress Management
Quick summary: Sex has a positive impact on stress and yet stress has a negative impact on sexual frequency and desire. I have two…
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Love with the mind, the body and the spirit
Quick summary: We experience love with the mind the body and the spirit… to maximize the love in your relationship you can focus on…
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Love is something we experience with our emotions
This sounds very obvious – what is less understood is that many people impact their ability to love by using logic and other defenses…
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The Talking Cure for Trauma – holding freedom – you are the lotus
Quick overview: There are many aspects to the trauma recovery process such as support, empowerment, finding new meaning, and engaging in techniques which help…
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Past blame or “whose fault it is” and on to solutions
Quick summary: whose fault is it? This question is a big one from governmental to family politics. How does assigning fault help in the…
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Harmful Interaction Patterns – which do you do and what can help?
Quick summary – Dr. John Gottman has done extensive research on the variables which affect a stable marriage (or committed relationship). He is able…
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Can you be too close? – Enmeshment and automatic emotions transfer
Quick summary: When I say ‘too close’ I mean to say that there are some relational bonds which are so intertwined that the individuals…
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Timeouts for adults – conflict resolution and avoidance strategies
Quick summary: Timeouts are not just for children – adults should use them at times as well… the difference being that you should give…
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Genograms – reducing blame and finding solutions in your family tree
Quick summary – When visiting certain therapists (trained in family therapy) you might have the opportunity to do a genogram to shed some light…
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Why Feeling Questions? – Emotional Expression Enhances Bonding
Quick summary: Exciting new research done by therapists such as Dr. Sue Johnson (the pioneer of emotionally focused therapy) have added efficacy to therapeutic…
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Talking with Teens– Try using authentic open-minded empathetic curiosity.
Quick Summary: For a teenager, the brain development is at a stage where they are generally dichotomous thinkers (black and white thinking – you…
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Relationship Sexually Stuck? – A look at your unwritten rules of engagement.
Quick summary: a simple tweak to the unwritten rules surrounding physical intimacy can recharge the sex life in a relationship. Most people have set…
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The interdependence of dependence and independence
Quick summery – The interdependence of dependence and independence – by allowing yourself to depend on other people for their assistance, you free yourself…
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Argumentative? – substitute the word "but" for "and"
Always use the conjunction “and” instead of the conjunction “but” to dramatically reduce defensiveness, to encourage harmonious conversation, and to increase you dialectic ability…
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