Thoughts From a Therapist
Emotions
A therapist talks about how you can achieve a healthy emotional state.
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Why Am I Disappointed Even When Things Are Good?
Why am I disappointed even when things are good? Expectations, efficiency, and fixation on flaws can pull attention away from what matters most.
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Why Do I Feel Things I Know Are Irrational?
Why do I feel things I know are irrational? Thoughts, emotions, physiology, memory, and behavior can create and interrupt emotional feedback loops.
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Intellectualization in Relationships | When Insight Replaces Contact
Highly intelligent couples often default to analysis instead of connection. This post explores how intellectualization protects us—and how it can quietly limit intimacy when…
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Emotional and Social Intelligence as a Living Balance | A Map for When You Want to Grow
This content discusses the importance of emotional and social intelligence for personal growth, emphasizing the need for balance in various capacities such as self-awareness,…
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The Difference Between Fault and Responsibility
The content discusses the distinction between fault and responsibility, emphasizing that while injustices may not be our fault, finding solutions is our responsibility. It…
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Strength Is Contextual
Strength is not a singular trait but a contextual movement toward personal balance. It emerges differently for hyper-empowered individuals, who may need restraint, and…
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Resilience, Humility, and the Temptation to Be Neurotic
Resilience involves embracing uncomfortable emotions like shame and guilt rather than avoiding them. True resilience is relational, allowing for emotional presence and accountability, particularly…
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State Shifting: Breaking the Feedback Loop of Rumination
Rumination isn’t just mental—it’s physiological. Learn how cold water and other state-shifting techniques can disrupt the feedback loop and restore clarity.
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The Building Blocks of Emotional and Social Intelligence
The blog explores emotional and social intelligence, emphasizing their role in enhancing mental, emotional, and spiritual wellness. It highlights essential capacities like empathy, self-awareness,…
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The Dialectic of Courage
Courage exists on a spectrum and requires balance, as both underdevelopment and overdevelopment can lead to issues. It is a crucial emotional capacity that…
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Invalidating Communication | What not to do when offering emotional support
For this post, I will list the most common disruptive communication mechanisms/patterns that people use when receiving another person’s emotions. People come into my office…
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Does laziness cause depression or does depression cause laziness?
The content explores whether laziness causes depression or vice versa, suggesting a complex relationship. It lists 20 behaviors that might unintentionally promote depression and…
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Fear, Competence, Values and Anger in Parenting Rambunctious Children
This post will investigate how our perceived parenting competence impacts our fear and resulting emotional and behavioral reactions. We will focus on how fear…
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Feelings are important in growing consciousness – Existential and Mindfulness Based Emotional Reflection Therapy
Accepting your emotional reality and holding an awareness of those feelings helps us to be conscious of how we are currently being influenced ……
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Reflection and Psychotherapy
Reflection is the ability to hold a stimulus in the present moment without reacting automatically. In a state of reflection, a person can notice…
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Relationship Help | “My partner says that I don’t listen” | how to meet the emotional needs of your partner
I am going to talk to you about what you should be paying attention to and what you should not be paying attention to…
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Compassionately Assertive – Maintaining Boundaries without Aggression – using empathy and clarity to get your needs met
Quick summary: This post will explain how to use empathy, self-awareness, and assertiveness to ensure that your personal boundaries are respected by others. Often…
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Empathy building exercise – learning to be empathetic – increasing emotional understanding
Quick summary: In difficult times often we really want someone to ‘just be there for us’ and to ‘show compassion and understanding for what…
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Understanding how your Values impact the choices that you make
In this context I will use the word ‘values’ as having the following definition – a ‘value’ is an emotional state or character attribute…
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What is Transference in psychotherapy – placing emotional reactions related to another onto the therapist
Quick summary: Transference = when you transfer an emotion meant for one person onto a different person. Transference is unconscious = the person is…
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