Communication

The ‘communication’ category contains thoughts on how you might improve you interactions with others.

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Anxiety, stress, and trauma

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May 18, 2011

Premarital counseling questions | life long commitment questionnaire | questions for a long & happy relationship

Quick summary: This is a premarital or a life long commitment questionnaire that I developed to encourage partners to talk openly about subjects that…
May 4, 2011

Why are people Defensive? Reducing the anxiety of change

Defensiveness is a behavior that people consciously and unconsciously engage in to avoid the anxiety which inevitably arrives with change. Change requires us to…
April 27, 2011

Psychotherapy Forum – Start a new Topic and Join the Discussion in the Wellness Forum

I have set up a Wellness forum for the readers of this blog… Start a new Topic and Join the Discussion in the Wellness…
April 14, 2011

Tips for getting your Attachment needs met in your adult relationships

meeting the needs of your partner is a great way of meeting your own needs… having your partner meeting your needs is a great…
May 7, 2010

Spend your energy on that which you can truly influence

Quick summary: How much time and energy do you spend on things that appear to be urgent and important that are not particularly urgent…
April 21, 2010

Attachment – why we say and emote one way when we truly feel and think a different way

Quick summary: I was just re-reading some articles on Emotionally Focused Therapy and on Attachment Theory and I thought I might offer a noteworthy…
April 6, 2010

Externalization – you are with the problem… you are separate from the problem

Quick summary – externalization is a technique from Narrative therapy which uses language to separate a person from their problem so that the person…
March 31, 2010

Harmful Interaction Patterns – which do you do and what can help?

Quick summary – Dr. John Gottman has done extensive research on the variables which affect a stable marriage (or committed relationship). He is able…
March 29, 2010

Can you be too close? – Enmeshment and automatic emotions transfer

Quick summary: When I say ‘too close’ I mean to say that there are some relational bonds which are so intertwined that the individuals…
March 26, 2010

Ineffective Solution Strategies – without a simplified problem, a solution is unlikely

Quick- In this post I will be talking about deconstructing (specifying and simplifying) a problem to more manageable variables. Often times the problem is…
March 19, 2010

Timeouts for adults – conflict resolution and avoidance strategies

Quick summary: Timeouts are not just for children – adults should use them at times as well… the difference being that you should give…
March 10, 2010

Talking with Teens– Try using authentic open-minded empathetic curiosity.

Quick Summary: For a teenager, the brain development is at a stage where they are generally dichotomous thinkers (black and white thinking – you…
February 26, 2010

Argumentative? – substitute the word "but" for "and"

Always use the conjunction “and” instead of the conjunction “but” to dramatically reduce defensiveness, to encourage harmonious conversation, and to increase you dialectic ability…