Category: Uncategorized
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An Integrative Alternative to the DSM | A Coherence Map of Mental Health
An integrative framework for understanding mental health beyond symptom classification. The Fractal Field model maps how identity, relationships, embodiment, values, and meaning interact to support coherence across the human system.
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It’s Not My Job To Make You Happy | Understanding Responsibility in Relationships
The discussion explores the complexities of relational responsibility in various contexts. It emphasizes that responsibility for another’s happiness is neither absolute nor zero, but rather exists on a spectrum influenced by relationship structure and mutual agreements. Clear understanding and negotiation of these responsibilities are essential for healthy connections.
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Social Anxiety and the Burden of Control | From Managing Perception to Living in Congruence
Social anxiety is often described as fear of judgment. That description is accurate, but incomplete. At a deeper level, social anxiety is more precisely the strain of taking responsibility for outcomes that ultimately live outside our control—specifically, the outcome of being liked, accepted, included, or retained by others. The Quiet Contract Beneath Social Anxiety Beneath…
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Why Dialectics and Deconstruction Are Essential for Solving Real Problems
We are often told that the world is divided—left vs right, pro-choice vs pro-life, individual freedom vs collective good. But underneath these oppositional identities, most of us are aiming at something far more shared: less violence, more dignity, better lives. So why can’t we solve problems together? Because we rarely pause to ask the deeper…
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Interviening with Extremism
This piece examines the emotional roots of extremist beliefs, highlighting trauma, shame, and the need for belonging as key drivers. It emphasizes that change comes from fostering compassion and humility rather than confrontation. While not everyone seeks to leave extremism, creating safe spaces for understanding can facilitate healing and reconnection.
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Character Matters
The post discusses the erosion of core human values and character amidst political and cultural upheaval, emphasizing that the means and ends are inseparable. It advocates for leaders to embody emotional intelligence and moral integrity, challenging society to recognize the importance of character in shaping a healthier collective and fostering genuine connections.
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Can Democracy Survive Without Truth?
Title: The Truth & Accountability Oath: A New Standard for Presidential Candidates Introduction: Can Democracy Survive Without Truth? The time to address this pressing issue is now. This post will engage in the Dialectic found between our desire to control misinformation and to protect free speech. There is tension, and we must be brave enough…
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The ‘List’ – Goal creation in couples counseling
The content discusses challenges couples face in therapy regarding task delegation and list-making. It highlights how differing perceptions of responsibility can lead to burnout and resentment. The distinction between list addiction and task completion is crucial, affecting goal-setting in therapy. Interventions vary based on individuals’ relationships with responsibilities.
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“Control Yourself!” Who is being asked to control who?
The post discusses the complex relationship between community, cultural expectations, and personal control over emotions and behavior. It highlights how control is often an illusion, as individuals struggle to manage their responses to external stimuli. It also explores spiritual insights on identity and the paradox of trying to control suffering, advocating for acceptance instead.
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Choice and quality of life | What choice, if removed, would most positively impact your well being?
The United States encompasses various sub-cultures influenced by a dominant meta-culture emphasizing freedom and choice. This dual nature of choice can lead to both empowerment and oppression. Reflecting on which choices could be beneficially removed may enhance well-being, drawing insights from cultures that prioritize routine and communal practices.
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Intentionality and Happiness | How life choices are impacted by purpose
This post emphasizes the relationship between intentionality and happiness, urging self-reflection. It identifies three approaches: balance, where both elements support each other; favoring intentionality, which may diminish joy; and prioritizing happiness, risking predictability and fulfillment. Ultimately, it encourages personal choice to find one’s preferred path toward fulfillment.
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The Relationship between Anxiety and Attention
Attention is a learn-able skill There are many famous quotes and affirmations spoken through the years that point to the humbling truth that most suffering never actually happened … of course this is only partially true as we can all speak to the suffering involved in having a high level of anxiety. it isn’t that…
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Fear, Competence, Values and Anger in Parenting Rambunctious Children
This post will investigate how our perceived parenting competence impacts our fear and resulting emotional and behavioral reactions. We will focus on how fear can lead us into parenting interventions that are not consistent with our parenting values. I was offering a parenting coaching intervention in a couples context the other week and I arrived…
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Parenting Paradigm | a level system to conceptualize parenting strategies
I was in a couples therapy session guiding an enactment surrounding an argument the couple had surrounding a parenting issue over the weekend. Both parties were having a difficult time understanding (cognitively) the other person’s position – though all my work focuses on maintaining connection through encouraging emotional openness, it was clear in this instance…
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Early Childhood Questions to Promote Bonding
I compiled the below questions to be used in an adult couple relationship to help facilitate bonding. When our partners see the depth of our true selves and know the intricacies of our narratives pertaining to our childhood, they are better available to be emotionally helpful. To be known and emotionally held by our partner…
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Choice is Oppression
Wow that is a provocative way to start! of course Choice is also liberation and a billion of other things, but in the post I want to shine some light on how individualism has created a blind infatuation with choice – and how ‘choice’ is actually the very source of our oppression. perhaps the single…
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Accepting, condoning, and boundaries
How do you accept what you can’t condone? what is it that your are accepting? we love people and we want them to behave in ways which will lead to the permanence of things… permanence of our relationship with them. People behave in ways that can hurt us both by insulting our systems of belief…
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Why Democracy Failed
This will be the beginning of a large selection of post concerning the evolution of our systems of government. Our country is hurting… and I want to help in the way that I can. My hope is that we can start moving towards evolving our Government’s operating system to more effectively meet the needs of…
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interregulation – a simpler explanation | regulating communication
For the sake of usability I am going to attempt at a simpler explanation of how communication can cause mutual regulation between two people – Interregulation or co- regulation. Interregulation is when two peoples’ emotional connection to each other causes an activation of the parasympathetic nervous system thereby making both parties feel relieved… connection is…